Ohh......Insecurity

So this past weekend I attended the Beth Moore conference with my amazing girls and it was on all women's number one nemesis.....being insecure. Every female in this world is insecure in some way shape or form. I could be here all day listing my insecurities, but I won't do that. I simply want to share with you some amazing truths. God revealed so much to me on Saturday and my brain is still breaking it all down. All I have to say is that when He speaks to you He speaks to you. He continued to break my heart all weekend, even after hearing Sunday's message, but I can't go there right now. This weekend I learned that I have got to "try" and learn to stay in the new me. It is so easy for me to slip into the old me and I will literally do it in an instant.

Isaiah 43:18 Remember not the former things nor consider the things of old.

I think that we all daily slip into our old selves. It seems almost impossible to not to. The enemy is constantly waiting to get his hands on us. Beth said that Jesus is our security and we have to be intentional. If we think that things are going to just fall into place and go our way without including Him we have another thing coming. Insecurity lies within our minds and our minds are a scary place. I am DAILY guilty of taking a thought and then this tiny thought becomes this horrific nightmare. We have got to learn to control our minds and keep them from controlling us. I truly believe that worrying only makes us sick. There is absolutely nothing that comes out of our of worrying except that it makes us scared, vulnerable, and physically ill at times. I feel like this blog needs to be a be continued.

Below are a few of the things that I took away:

• You have nothing to gain from insecurity!!! It will not improve anything!
• Insecurity is not a weakness it is unbelief.
• The more we live withdrawn the darker our thinking gets and our hearts get harder and harder. This leads to addiction, whether it be food, alcohol, shopping, or drugs. An addiction is anything that draws us away from God and keeps us from him.
• Perfectionism is insecurity in an art form.
• How much does our continuous unforgiveness have to do with our insecurity?
• How much do we take God up on his grace?
• We need to forgive like women who have been graced. We can give grace away and also keep it. It is our right and freedom to forgive.
  
• To be secure, we have to know that somebody unfailingly loves us. You can't out sin his forgiveness.

So as I was writing this entry, Alli Rogers came on and I absolutely adore her voice and heart. This is my favorite song and it totally spoke to me today. Here are the lyrics. Find it and listen to it :)

I guess I need to choose
But today I am confused and losing ground
Is this part of some plan?
The rise and fall of man?
I can’t be sure

When I’m away from my source of peace
Something fills that space in me
And it feels like I don’t need you

It’s easy to get by
When I don’t even try to find the truth
Today I learned that faith
Is not to be obtained like a place I can go

It’s more of a choice than a feeling
More of a wound than healing
The act of believing in you

And I guess I need to choose
But today I am confused
And losing ground

But maybe this is where I grow
When I admit that I don’t know
When belief becomes the only way to you

I apologize for being all over the place on this one:)

My Hero

My Hero!

So today on my way to work I got my first ever flat tire. This has always been one of my biggest fears... mainly because I don't know how to change a flat. Now my dad would beg to differ since he has shown me on numerous occasions how to do so. I have watched it be done several times, but have never physically changed one all by myself. I should probably try to do that one day so when I am ever in this situation again I don't go into freak out mode. Getting a flat tire is quite scary. Luckily, I was getting off of my exit when I heard the awful thumping noise. I thought "My tire can't be flat!" "I just got them in November!" So, I did what any girl would do and called my sweet sweet husband. He was the closest male to the situation. Luckily he works at the airport which is right by the school where I work. Oh...and did I mention that these tires were only 6 months old. I thought to myself well at least we have a warranty on these things and won't have to pay for a new one. I thought wrong. My sweet hero of the day failed to get a warranty and we had to buy a new tire. Now I said what any wife would have said in this situation. "Chris, why didn't you get a warranty on these tires?" Big mistake:) Not something you want to say, especially when you know he is already ticked at himself for not having done. So I let it go. I have to say that there was something extremely cute about watching him change the tire.

All in all, I just want to say that I have the best husband in the world. He left work, changed my tire, bought me breakfast at McDonalds (which I shouldn't have eaten seeing as I am trying to train for the Peachtree Race), sat with me at Tires Plus for an hour to make sure everything was taken care, and then went back to work. He was my hero of the day (insert cheesy Enrique Iglesias song here :)

PS: We have a warranty on our tires now :)

When we are weak.....

I was reading the daily blog from Proverbs 31 Ministries and today's message dealt with overcoming trials or "potholes" in our life. These potholes pop up all the time, some worse than others. To those dealing with "potholes" here is some encouraging scripture. I read one verse, which lead me to another verse, and so on and so forth. God is cool like that:) If you want to read the blog here is today's message link (Potholes Required).

http://proverbs31devotions.blogspot.com/


But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 1 Corinthians 12:9-10

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. James 1:1-4

Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward [man] is being renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding [and] eternal weight of glory, while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen [are] temporary, but the things which are not seen [are] eternal.2 Corinthians 4:16-18

He gives power to the weak, and to those who have no might He increases strength. Isaiah 40:29

Happy Easter

So today was pretty much perfect. We started the morning off breaking fast eating an amazing breakfast with our small group. I have to say that we have some pretty amazing cooks. The food was awesome! The menu consisted of creme brulee french toast, a grits bar with with cheese, shrimp, bacon, sausage and egg casserole, bacon with brown sugar glaze, homemade cinnamon buns, coffee cakes, fruit, and Krispy Kreams :) Needless to say we were all pretty stuffed. Chris and I are so unbelievably blessed to be in community with these people. They are truly family. When we moved to Atlanta we wondered how we were going to make friends in such a big place. God sure did answer our prayers. After our breakfast we of course attended church and witnessed some beautiful baptisms for both the young and the old. I decided to be baptized last Easter and couldn't help but reflect my experience. Baptism was something I took very personally and I always knew that God would reveal when he wanted me to take the step. The cool thing about being baptized at Trinity is the catechisim class that you go through 6 weeks prior. During this time you learn about the foundations of your faith, study scripture, and share you story with others who are right where you are. It was hard to believe that an entire year had passed since I was baptized. I couldn't help but reflect on my journey since being baptized and all the things that has revealed to me this year. I hope that you all had a wonderful Easter Sunday and were able to enjoy family, friends, and the amazing weather.

Me, Christina, Carly, Megan, Tonya, and Ashley

Enjoying breakfast outside on this beautiful morning.

The amazing feast! Yum :)

The Gordons

Carly and Megan setting up.

The Fearons

The Skowronskis

The McClendons

The McCullers

Good Friday

Tonight at the Good Friday service, I walked away with a sense of mourning and sadness. Like I lost a friend. The mental images of Jesus' death are so vivid on my mind right now. I have heard this story numerous times but this is the first time I have truly had a personal connection. I am sad.

I keep picturing Jesus' mother Mary.

She raised him, she witnessed his first steps, she took care of his cuts and bruises, she watched him grow from a boy to a man. I am not a mother yet, but I can only imagine how helpless she felt watching her son suffer in pain and agony...... all for us. What was going through her mind? Did she want to run and save him? Did she want to dissapear and just weap? Was she angry with God? Did she feel cheated by God for taking her son away so soon?

Here is her child dying for the entire world and sacrificing HIS body to save us from the pit. She could not take care of these cuts and bruises.

What do you think Mary prayed to God for during her mourning?

I think she prayed for God to help her understand all of this and why he choose her. Why did she have to endure this pain of watching her son's death unravel before her eyes? I think she prayed for strength because she probably had none left. The light of her world was gone. I think she prayed for peace within her soul because she felt as if her soul had been ripped out. I think she asked God to be with those who grew to love and know him so well? They lost there beloved and dear friend.

One day, maybe I will get to meet Mary and ask her all these questions.

Below is a link to a Patty Griffin's song titled "Mary". I love this song and thought about it as I was writing.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XOxpvKuEruk

For the Glory of it all is He came here. For the rescue of it all that we may live.